NATIONAL SECURITY
Our latest long-awaited installment boasts our most jingoistic journalism to date, dedicated to keeping you safe and sound as you decipher flag-waving fiction, promising poetry and assured artwork. “Looking Through You” details the lives of the heroes who make it safe to fly the unfriendly skies. “Charles Bukowski’s Double Date with Adolph Hitler” hearkens back to a little-known corner of world history. “No Comment” explains Hobo Pancakes’ recent disappearance from the interwebs while “Smack Talk of the Town” goes undercover at a right wing think tank — in San Francisco. All this, plus enough fart poems to stink up the Pentagon and more!
Please stand up, remove your hats, shoes, jackets, belts and any items that may be in your pockets, put your hands over your hearts and whatever you do, don’t tread on us!
With nationally secure sincerity,
The Hobo Pancakes Team
“Secure My Ass”
by Kelly Anneken, managing editor
Salute Our Shorts: The News In Brief
“Obesity Linked to Marijuana Use!”
by Paul Lander
“The Rejection Pile”
by Shaylen Maxwell
“Christian Bell, Star of Police Blotter”
by Christian Bell
“You’re Still Okay, You’re Only a Classy Ho”
by Shanyn Wright
“Hobo Bird Man’s National Security”
by John Pavon
“Emotional Equality, Chicago Style”
by Omar Azam
Chronicles of Higher Education
“Because We Love Our Children”
by Justin Evans
“Hideout”
by Michael Saul
“The Old Suburban Guerrilla Discusses The Techniques of Bear Hunting”
by William Watkins
“The Devil You Know & The Devil You Don’t”
by Dan Rozier
“The Public Access Episode”
by Rob Robison
“Looking Through You”
by Tim Chorney
“Pitch In: Get Your Hands Dirty!”
by Nora Costello
“The Lampoon”
by Adam Johnson
“Charles Bukowski’s Double Date With Adolph Hitler”
by Adam Graupe
“A Valediction: For Kennedy Fried Chicken & the Department of Homeland Security”
by Dante Di Stefano
“Rookie Director”
by Steve Bogdaniec
“After Whitesnake”
by Abbas Abidi
“Beer”
by Blair LaVake
“Surprise”
by Chuck Logan
“How (Not) To Get A Job At A Conservative Think-Tank”
by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large
“Hot Men & Breakfast Foods: Julian Assange With Toaster Strudel”