Sonnet 50 Cent
In memoriam of a passing sweet vehicle
by Kelly Anneken
Betimes you traveled, cross the dusty earth:
Many a merry minstrel’s melody
And mountains of my soiled garb you towed,
Humming softly despite your excess girth.
Thy smell, thy touch, thy limpid navy hue
Do haunt me still in waking and in dreams;
Thoughts of what might have been had we one clue
That we would part in clouds of smoke and screams.
I watched your crimson life spill ‘pon the road,
All your wheezes and wails and gasps for breath
As ripeness came to seeds long ago sowed,
O! Man’s mere invention cannot cheat death:
Crip’ling loss seems pointless and premature;
Deus ex machina, open some door!
I2
by Talos D. Virgin
I’ve decided to become
A loser, professionally. Obviously
I dabble already, I’m not
just diving in head first,
my toes have been pruning
in the water for years and
I have a rather firm
grasp of what I’m in store
for (rice crispy treats? [no,
not that kind of store]).
Personal bragging is
tasteless, but I think I
can be a natural in this
field without much effort
(literally? [yes?]), I mean it’s
in my genes. When it comes down
to it I was almost bred for
this. on my family tree you’ll
find lay-abouts, drug addicts,
criminals and that’s just my
moms’ side. I’m like the {Alec Baldwin
of failure.
So when I say something
like I can do spectacularly
un-great things in my life, know
that I say it with a head
held low with pride. I plan
to put my tail so far between
my legs it will look like I
have an inverted/ upside down
beard on my chin [snap. (I don’t get it)].
While others will soar with the
eagles, I, will walk briskly with
a donated frozen turkey from
a homeless shelter.
That last one may have gone a
bit far. I don’t assume I’m just
going to become homeless. I’ve tried
before and failed [failing at failing,
how meta]. Down the road though, after
years of not working, leaving
projects half-started,
abandoning goals, and generally
giving up on dreams; maybe
if I’m lucky I’ll have
my own unkempt beard
and cardboard sign. Hopefully
I won’t have made it myself.
I feel like a child that
wants to be an astronaut,
looking to the end isn’t
everything, it’s the
journey [I don’t know who
that band is (I do)]. Again
I have a leg up because
there are many people
who believe in me, they
say I have a big talent.
The better to disappoint
you with [something dumb from
the other guy] (I think that mis-
characterizes me. I understand
you were condescending to me
I am not a fool, I have been
playing one for effect.)[convenient.
you know ALL the words I
know, but can you kneed
them when you need them?]
(Have you ever cringed at
knowing someone is so proud
of what they said? Like a
deep seeded gained shame.)
[Oh that barely makes sense!]
(Look, Jerry Lewis, my point is you
can’t judge me based on what
I’ve said in this comedic essay.)
[Mmm, no exclamation; not Dean? someone
cares about “seeming” the reason-
able one! “challenged Chucky”]
(“ruing up his face, Tom
warned” Wow, you’re really
going to make me hit
you?! Is an interabang
smart enough for you?!?!!
I don’t care how I look!!!?
“Tom relaxed his face
and drilled his eyes into
Chucky’s”)[“giving back
as good as he got, Chucky
stared and matter-of-
factly prodded” Interrobang.
](That’s debatable! “Tom
whipped himself around and
jostled the young wit, Chucky,
until he was out of place.
Chucky vied forward and
pulled down a lower-case
‘f’ that was over his head.
using the ‘f’ as a hook he
looped it around, Tom, and
tried to close him in.
the sideless Tom tumbled
out and away, knocking
free the ‘f’ from Chucky’s
grasp. the two stared
at each other, facing
for the first time with
no letter between them,
no space to gap the
two. they where for
the first time, sequential.
the truth of their
sameness infuriated them
each similarly. across and
down the page they rage on,
from left to right deep
into the margins with
no end in sight. from afar
it must look like an
awkward circle in
disagreance with its
own structure, but up close
these two powerful punks
were punctuating with
purpose and form”}{
What are you guys doing?}
“who are you?”
{Alec Baldwin.} “oh, from-”
{Earlier yes. what is going
on?}”oh, ha, i don’t
really know anymore. Were you
there the whole time?”{Yes.
You guys need to stop.}
“right. are you the real Alec
Baldwin?”{is he?}
“you’re right. I’m sorry. We’ll
stop.”{Don’t apologize
just stop}”okay{Stop.}”
“okay…bye”
{Good bye.}) my pretties!
0 thoughts on “Iambic Ixplosion”