“Advice to Men”
by Ryan Ritchie
if you don’t own
a Cadillac, a convertible or a Cadillac convertible,
don’t rent one for your wedding.
say no to the borrowed
pinstriped suit, the fedora and
the cane.
pass on the destination wedding locale
overlooking some beach community
you’ll never be able to afford.
and don’t assume that a raging bachelor party
in Vegas will make your friends think
you’re “money”
(as the douchebags say)
because the single men are pretty sure
you’re a fool
and the married men
know it.
instead,
save your money and your pride
because no matter how hard you try,
you still look like a pussy.
“The Woman With Tempting Eyes”
by Michael Shorb
Saudi authorities
on the lookout
for the woman
with tempting eyes,
most figure its one
trouble-making temptress
slipping out at night
to use her seductive globes
to distract good men
with wanton dreams,
sex in a feather bed
sinking further into perdition
with every errant thrust,
a minority of desperate
manhoods claim many
women are involved,
some driving fast cars
through their own
private deserts and
listening to violent
negro music on the radio,
a few of them going so far
as to smoke cigars.
“I Respect the Gent”
by G. David Schwartz
Make sure you tie your shoe
I did respect that gent
And all the places he said he went
And I did meet his son one day
And to mer he did say
That dear old sir
Was a card in lying
But he was a good talker so I
Refused to believe that he did lie
he was simply good with tales
Which sounded like Mark Twain and so
I remember him
as a good old joe
“The Sunset”
by Ryan Ritchie
a young man in his early 20s sits on a bench overlooking the sun-setting ocean.
the girl on his lap — approximately the same age — faces toward the not-so-busy
street and wears not a smile and not a frown. it’s a
look of indifference, one that suggests she’s letting this guy
run his hands across her arms and kiss her cheeks (but not her lips)
not because she wants the attention, but because it’s not such a hassle just to let him
cop a cheap feel. parked at the red light, I stare through my sunglasses
for about a minute and wonder why this guy can’t
read the neon signs so obviously being sent his way. then I remember.
guys are creeps.
“A Mitsubishi”
by G David Schwartz
A Mitsubishi is something to see
In cold steel black or dartmouth green
It may look to be cold
But it is red hot mean
A Mitsubishi is something to see
And I will tell you if you ask me
Seen from near or far
the Mitsubishi is a car
0 thoughts on “Iambic Ixplosion”