Infallible advice from the Vatican’s very own love doctor!
Dear Pope,
My wife and I are about to celebrate our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, and things have gotten a little bit… dull in the bedroom. Do you have any tips to spice things up?
Sincerely,
Bored in Boston
Dear Bored,
A strong and healthy marriage blessed by the Church is a beautiful thing, second only to a life of celibate devotion to Christ. However, too often in contemporary society we are tempted to view such a sacred bond through the lens of romantic passion, rather than its true purpose: to be a pale shadow of the procreative love of God. Therefore, I recommend as a marital aid playing a bit of Gregorian chant (to get her “in the mood”) followed by a moment of prayer that your lovemaking might lead to what God intended: the creation of a new life. There is, after all, no bigger turn-on than the prospect of increasing the numbers of the Catholic flock!
Yours in the Eucharist,
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, formerly Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, Defender of the Roman Faith
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